Shane’s Legacy

Yesterday my family lost a dear friend. He was my daughter’s best friend, like a big brother to her. His name was Shane. It was always a pleasure to be in his presence. He had a glow; and he was someone us parents would want around our children. He was someone I just knew had great potential, and be a wonderful adult someday. On Sunday he was driving out of town to pick up a friend after he had found himself in a rut. Shane seemed to be the one all his friends called when they they’ve found themselves in some sort of trouble. On his way, he was hit by a drunk driver (Although not definite on the details… from what we have heard, he was struck multiple times until his car flipped). We did not know many details until yesterday when we called to check to see how he was doing and found out he had died that morning.
My daughter was very worried about him when she had found out about the accident. However, all she was told was that he was in a car accident and in the hospital. His mother had told her that he did not look very good so she probably shouldn’t go to see him. My daughter tends to be fairly over dramatic sometimes, and all who know her know that about her. I just assumed it was because of that. So, I did the best I could to comfort her and gave her several situations where someone in an accident would not “look so good” but may not necessarily be seriously injured. Then, at a doctor’s appointment yesterday, my daughter stressed her concern again. She heard that he had some sort of surgery the previous day. So, once again, I gave a couple examples of injuries that would require surgery, but may not be life threatening. I then began to think, maybe this is more serious than I had originally thought. So, I told her we would call Shane’s mom when we got home and see how he is doing.
We got home, and my daughter went straight to the phone. She ran upstairs to her room to be updated on his condition. A couple of minutes later she came running back downstairs hysterical. My heart sank, I knew something went horribly wrong. She was shaking and screamed, “Shane’s dead! Shane’s dead!” . I was mortified! How could this be? How could someone so special be taken from us and the rest of society? I cried with her. We had a very quiet day.
I called my dad for some insight. I just wanted to take her pain away. I know that’s not possible. But, I suppose in this time of despair and trauma, that is all I could think of doing. I talked to him for a while and explained what had happened. He talked to my daughter for a while. He told her to make sure she kept his memories alive, and that he thought it was a good idea for her to attend any services held.
Later, my son got home from his friend’s house, and I told him what had happened. It was like it happened all over again. He went upstairs to my daughter’s room and asked her if she was okay. She said “yeah”, and he said, “I’m not”. He cried and cried for the loss of his friend and all our broken hearts.
My other son does not know yet. He is visiting his father for the next couple of days. I’m not looking forward to breaking the news to him as well. Out of these three, he is probably the most emotional and sensitive.
So, now I have a couple issues I am dealing with. One is that I am very upset with myself for minimizing the accident to my daughter, just to make her feel better. I could kick myself for doing that. This is something I am adamant about NOT doing to kids. It was something that required attention and real concern, and I did not do that. Now, I feel horrible. It isn’t like I minimized her getting sick and she ended up with the flu – this resulted in someone’s death! Someone we loved.
Another issue I have is my anger towards the drunk driver who did this and every other out there. Is it really that hard to call a cab if you have been drinking? Where this happened is a long stretch of highway between two major cities. What in the hell is someone thinking driving on a highway with a 75 m.p.h. speed limit to go 40 miles from one city to the next when they have been drinking? What kind of person taunts a teenager by striking his car multiple times just screwing with him until his car flips? GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! WHY???? I am so mad! What is wrong with people? Don’t they realize this could have been their dear friend, or brother, or son, or nephew? Don’t people realize people die because of doing stupid mean things like this? Don’t they care??? I just want to scream.
So, what can I do? Well, first, I need to acknowledge that I made a mistake with my daughter. I have spoken to her and shared my deep heartfelt apology for minimizing the accident in the first place. I am here to listen to her and anyone else about Shane, the accident, the memories they have, or the anger or sadness they feel.
According to the MADD website, over 1/3 of vehicle deaths are alcohol related. Since 1982, the number has been cut just about in half. That’s still not good enough. I looked up some things people can do to help and found that there are several ways. From something as simple as getting a ribbon to put on your car showing your support for being against drunk driving to donating funds and 5k walks. I haven’t decided just yet what exactly we will be doing. But, I feel it’s a necessity for our family to do something.
Most importantly, we need to keep Shane’s legacy alive. We all will die, it’s the cycle of life. It’s just a shame that someone so young is robbed of their future so carelessly in this situation. As I said before, Shane was a wonderful influence. He always brought a smile, and always had a shoulder to lean on. I can’t even put into words how great it was to know him. It is our duty to pass on what he gave us. We have to pass on memories, his great advice, his glow, his smiles.

Health Care “Reform”, Please Rethink!

I looked up a few things on this healthcare reform after hearing a bunch of hype and heated discussions. After pulling some numbers and “connecting the dots“, so to speak, unfortunately, I would have to say I think it is merely a conglomeration of socialistic views that have been put forth on our society. I believe it will have detrimental effects and be just one more thing to hasten our spiraling plunge downward to disgruntled citizens. Among many other problems, this will most definitely lead to the paucity of healthcare to our people, rather than care for them. It will affect taxpayers tremendously. Why would anyone want to increase all this funding nonsense without trying to make health insurance more affordable, which ultimately is the root of the problem?
In 2007 the government spent $2.2 trillion on healthcare, or about $7, 421 per person. To me, this already seems like an awful high amount. According to whitehouse.gov, it is expected that over the next decade this amount will increase by $940 billion. By 2025, one out of every 4 dollars in the national economy will be put towards the health care system. In 2014, there will be penalties for not having insurance. This penalty will increase one and a half times by 2016. In addition, people who have tanning beds in their homes will also have a penalty tax. So, what we have is a huge tax increase as well as an intrusion on what people want to do.
Rush Limbaugh has spoken on this topic and made some good points. He said that health care is a problem, but not a crisis. Therefore, it should not be treated as such. A CBO study showed that 51% of those who were uninsured were actually only uninsured for a period not exceeding 4 months. We also have to take into consideration the people who choose not to have health insurance (I know a few myself). These people may choose not to because of the cost, theorizing that paying for a broken arm is cheaper than paying for insurance year round. Others may choose not to because they would rather make a car payment than pay a monthly insurance bill. It is their RIGHT to do so! The government SHOULD NOT penalize these people for choosing to not cover themselves.
According to Bill O’Reilly, a recent Pew Research Study showed 69% of Americans believe the government should care for those who cannot care for themselves. Many of those people who participated in that study also agree that health care is a basic human right. As Bill O’Reilly pointed out, so is nutritious food, decent housing, and a dignified retirement – but where do we draw the line? A basic human right is also the freedom to make our own choices and that is being taken from us!
Today, states pay more to Medicaid than to K-12 education. (Not to my surprise, as I have mentioned before, the public school system in the U.S. does not cease to disappoint me. Not only do they have less funding than other social programs, they have a horrible way allocating it.) Over 40 states enroll Medicaid at 200% or higher of the federal poverty level, and 7 at 300% or higher. Now, at first glance, this doesn’t seem so bad. I know the federal poverty level is quite low. I know for a fact in order to get cash benefits in the county where I live is nearly impossible. One would have no way of surviving at their income limits. But, this is all changing to the other extreme. At the rate this is going, and the funding that is now becoming available, a family of 4 making $65 thousand a year will qualify for Medicaid. A family of 4 can pay for insurance if they were making that much in my town. It’s insane! But, I make less than that and my and everyone else’s tax dollars are going to pay for a family of four with that kind of income to have $2 co-pays and no monthly bill for insurance?
The SCHIP, or State Children’s Health Insurance Program is undergoing a massive increase in funding. Obama has approved a bill increasing funding by $35 billion over a 5 year period. With this, a family of 4 making $80 thousand a year would be eligible. Once again, if you were making $80 thousand a year, you can afford to buy health insurance. It has been shown that increasing public programs is not a maintainable alternative to private insurance.
The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act is intended to protect health coverage for Americans who lose their employment through a 65% COBRA subsidy to make coverage affordable. This increase is in the amount of $787 billion! WOW! If I was getting unemployment (for longer now, thanks to Obama), and my insurance was cheap to maintain, what would give me motivation to go back to work?
We also have the Recovery Act, which is a $19 billion increase in funding for computerized medical records. Those are some expensive record transfers! According to Wikipedia, the use of electronic medical records improves efficiency by 6% a year, that‘s not a huge increase. But, if it’s efficiency we are after – why in the world do taxpayers have to pay for it – on top of having mandatory insurance? Shouldn’t your insurance cover the overhead costs at a hospital? So now who’s coming out on top – citizens or insurance companies? Oh, but wait, there’s more that this Act covers! $1 billion for health prevention care, $1.1 billion for research, and $500 million for training for the next generation of doctors and nurses. So, no money for schools, we will let kids have a poor education until they decide to be doctors or nurses , then we will provide extra money to pull them out of stupid? What???
Beyond all the money involved in this, let’s look at the big picture. If everyone has insurance, and everyone has equal care – there will be a lack of care. More people will be getting it, less will be available – right? Then cost goes up to slow people down. Basic supply and demand. There will be waiting lists for surgeries, etc. Today, if your child needed his tonsils out, and was in excruciating pain, it would be taken care of immediately – insurance or not. In the near future with these reforms, it could be weeks, with insurance. If it is not a life or death situation, you and everyone else will be put on a back burner. You will be taking time off work to care for your sick child until a doctor is available to care for them.
You see how this works? You make everyone equal by giving them all insurance? Which means no one can have special care when they need it. You just can’t make people equal this way. Not only is it morally and ethically wrong, it is also creeping the U.S. that much closer towards socialism.

Protesting the Right Way

Last week, in the small town where I live, there was a bomb threat. Apparently it was intended for a medical marijuana distribution facility, or to protest against medical marijuana use. While I never got all of the details, I spent a lot of time thinking about forms of protesting. I guess I have a hard time dividing these two things in this situation: violence and a protest against medical marijuana. So, here is what I have come up with.

Really – can someone honestly think that blowing up a medical marijuana distribution facility or any place that sits right next to a bank and a dance studio (with children inside), etc., is going to get their point across? Of course not! That day, people were on Facebook concerned about their families being in the area the bomb was. Do you really think anyone cared why the bomb was there? When people think of the Oklahoma City Bombing, do we think of what he was protesting when he blew it up? Or do we think of all the people, including small, innocent children, that he killed? How about the twin towers? When something devastating happens, never mind their cause – mind our devastation! The stupid thinking behind this sort of thing is hard for me to even fathom.

Blowing up a medical marijuana distribution facility is NOT going to rid the town of distribution facilities – because not only is there another one on the other side of town – as long as it is legal – people will open them. Nor will it stop people from using medical marijuana. So what does it do? Kill people! And they don’t even know why they are dying?!?

On a smaller level, that still makes me very upset – here’s another example situation. One day I was on my way to school. I had my kids in the car with me to drop them off with my sister while I had midterms. On the side of the highway through town up ahead I saw a group of people picketing. Once I got close to them going 40 mph, which is the speed limit through that area, a man jumped in front of my car with his sign. Luckily I got stopped in time and didn’t run him over. My kids were terrified, and so was I. He started yelling and slammed his hand on the hood of my car waving his sign. I jumped out of my car and ranted about how I didn’t care what his cause was when he’s risking lives to make his point. I was furious! Can you imagine how traumatized my children would have been if I would have hit him and killed him? After all of that, I didn’t even remember what any of the signs in that group said. Nor did I care.

I personally have very strong views against abortion which I will get into more in another blog post. But, I am also very against people harassing others about what they do or believe. There is no reason people should be standing outside of abortion clinics being downright mean to women going into one. What amazes me is I have heard of church groups going to do this sort of thing. That’s crazy to me! Do they think that by calling those women names, etc. they’re going to sway their decision to have an abortion? Probably not. I think most women would just continue to walk in or come back another day. If you want it a law, try to make it a law. If you want to try to sway women to agree that abortion is not right – that’s not the way to do it. What if you got to women before they made the decision to have an abortion? What if we educated teen girls on abortion? It might help – it would be a start. There are different ways to get your point across.

People have to draw a definitive line on what is wrong and what is right. You may think your cause is right. But killing, or hurting, or even threatening to – IS NOT RIGHT!

Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “fight fire with fire”? There is a right way to do things people. Laws are put in place because people voted them in. You want to make a point? Here’s how to do it….

Rally some people up that believe what you do

Have your beliefs put on a ballot

Vote on Them

Simple as that!

If it doesn’t get voted in, it’s because not enough people agree with you. So, you can try again next time.

(By the way, the Medical Marijuana Issue was placed on a Colorado ballot more than once.)

It can even be simpler. Especially if anger about a law is an issue. Find a group of people who agree with you, and start a discussion group, or a blog. Maybe once you find that you aren’t the only one who disagrees with something you will feel better.

Know Your Job As a Parent and Do It

In order to have normal psychological development, it is vitally important for parents to raise their kids. Unfortunately, it is all too common to have daycares raise kids. In addition, the number of single parent families is rapidly growing. Freudian theory says it’s important for a child to have a good motherly influence. Psychoanalysts now say it’s important to have a good fatherly influence. My take on it? Although not always possible, both are incredibly important.
No one is perfect, and no one is going to raise perfect kids. But we all want to raise kids instilled with our values and morals. Of course, everyone’s values and morals differ. Some basics on our list of priorities however, should include family, and providing a loving home. Parents should spend time with their kids. Parents should try to make the home as stable as possible. Parents should be parents before they try to be their child’s friends. Parents should not be afraid to discipline – within reason. At the same time, they should be open enough to congratulate, cherish and love their children – and make it known to them that they do.
In a perfect life, from my point of view, at least one parent should be readily available for their children throughout the day. One parent to take children to school, or school them themselves. That parent could take their children to soccer practices, recitals, etc. With that being said however, I know most households require both parents to work. If it is for basic survival to put food on the table and provide a roof over your heads – by all means – work. But if it due to overspending to provide more toys in your life, i.e. big screen TVs, fancy cars, etc., that’s pretty selfish. Why would you sacrifice time with your children and more stability for more toys for yourself? Kids don’t really care what you have that’s big, they care what they have. It is my guarantee that a good relationship with their parents means a lot more than a Nintendo Wii.
For some, the reason you both have to work is because one of you do not make enough money to provide for the whole family. So, it’s not always possible to have one parent at home with the children. Daycares and time home alone when children get older can become a necessity. When this is the case, parents should know what their kids are doing, where they are, and make time for them outside of work, daycare, time home alone, etc. Make it a point to talk to your kids and know what’s going on their lives. Don’t minimize their problems, and don’t fix all their problems for them.
Know what your job is as a parent and do it. How can your children raise kids if you can’t? How can your children provide for a family in the future if they aren’t taught to do so? The next generation in your family will be provided by them, teach them by influence how to do it. Remember that saying, “Do as I say, not as I do”? That’s a horrible way to teach! You want college to be important to your children? Then go to college. You want them to be loving parents? Then be a loving parent.
As much as many of us say we don’t want to do things like our parents did, we all do to some extent. Parts of them are instilled in us. For example, my mother worked a lot when I was younger. She rarely did things for herself. She spent so much time providing for others, she did not provide for herself. This caused a lot of tension. Who do people tend to take stress out on most? The people they’re most comfortable with. So, my dad, and us kids many times got the brunt of her tense rants. As much as I would like to say I don’t do that. In some ways, I do. I minimize my work by working a seasonal job. However, I do a lot of running for others. I allow my family to place high demands on me, and feel obligated to do them. The underlying result? Stress! Lots of it! As much as I would like to say I don’t take it out on anyone else, I know sometimes I do. I find myself nit-picking sometimes at things that wouldn’t normally bother me, I have mood swings, and I get frustrated more often than I should. Not exactly like my mom, but similar. So, I recognize it, and try to work on it.
I love my kids. I get very upset with the choices they make at times. I have a teenager, if that tells you anything. There are times I feel like I have failed in what I have tried to teach them. There are times I feel ultimate discouragement. I have to remind myself that although I am their parent and a significant influence, ultimately, they make their own choices. All I can do is my job as a parent.
I was educated in my early elementary years in a European school. I lived with my parents on some islands close to Portugal. After coming back to the states, I saw how far behind kids were here in comparison to Europe. As I got older, I concluded that the public schools here in the states are a joke in comparison to others around the world. Granted, we do not have the worst schools. But, we could definitely use lots of improvement. I now home school my children. I see it as a necessity. I am not preaching – to each their own. A lot of people find ways to criticize by saying home school children don’t get the social skills they need. My response? What kind of social skills do they need exactly? Is it social skills that cannot be obtained through church groups, 4-H, violin practice, soccer teams, or high school electives at a high school? Or perhaps a local home school co-op which holds, not daily, but regular classes? If so, are those particular unknown social skills they need to obtain worth sacrificing good quality time with your children for? Furthermore, are they worth sacrificing a good education for? Well, like I said previously – to each their own.
I know what my job is, and I do it. I make mistakes, I’m not perfect, but I try to be.

The Fall of the American Empire

Looking back in history, we know that empires fall because of division. As much as some of us would like to think, the success of a nation really has nothing to do with how moral or ethical the people or government are. Just take a look at the rise and fall of the great Roman Empire. The government was corrupt, and the people were intrigued by sex and violence. Newsflash!!! Basic psychoanalysis says all people are intrigued by sex, violence, and dependency. So, corruption and scandal will be in every empire forever. The reason for the fall of the Roman Empire, along with every other, is simple – DIVISION. When a nation is divided, it gets weak.
Power is in numbers, right? Ultimately, the most influential and powerful groups are large. Think about this for a moment on a somewhat small scale. This could even apply to religion. How about the Catholic church? It’s pretty massive. Think of all the power they have and the influence they present. At some point they have influenced basic Christian teachings of every denomination. From thoughts on evolution, to communion practices, to church organization; the Catholic church has influenced them all.
Or, it could apply to a group with a cause, such as MADD. MADD has become quite large and influences everything from the number of sobriety checkpoints to the National Minimum Drinking Age Act. MADD has somewhere around 2 million members nationwide. That’s a lot of people who have all come together for one cause. There’s power in that!
Now, our empire has a lot of people. The population of the U.S. is somewhere around 300 million people. However, in order to be successful as a nation, we have to be united. Just like the Catholic church or MADD or any other large successful group.
But, we are far from united – we are very much a divided nation. We have a breakdown of citizen morale. Just like disgruntled employees, we have many people in this nation very upset. It continues, generation after generation, until there are so many divided groups, the nation irrevocably weak.
Ibn Khaldun, a politician and philosopher, among other things, in the 15th century, wrote a book called the Muqaddimah. This is where this basic idea of this comes from. It is the cycle of every empire to fall, there is no prevention. However, promoting the division of a nation into smaller groups will speed up the process.
I strongly believe that, in our nation, war has been a huge factor in division. Morale started breaking down around the time of Vietnam. There were riots and protestors of massive numbers in comparison to previous instances in the U.S. Since then, we have had much divided viewpoints on war in general. We have had influence of our previous generations and their thoughts on war. With an almost busted patriotism among some, the division among people about us going to war has been huge in proportion.
Then, of course, as I have discussed before on the division among groups of race and sex, plays a part. If we have small groups separated by race and sex, that’s division. You can’t be American if your ancestors are from Mexico or Africa? You really have to split yourself away from the people you share a common nation with? In which you were born? Then even more separation if you are a female of a different race? Or if you are homosexual? You can’t just be a homosexual American? Why should you or anyone else separate you from the rest of society because of your sexual preference? Where is power and stability? In one very large group – or in many small groups with different causes?
Another obvious separation is in political party affiliation. This split’s the nation almost in half. Think about some sensitive subjects. There is sex, race, and sexual preference; but what about monetary gain, imperialism, or war in general? Different political parties have very different views on these things. The separation in its simplest form would probably be conservative or liberal. There are incredible differences between the two.
One large group, with one common cause will be successful. I’m not trying to really change anything. Like I said before, the decline of an empire is inevitable. You just can’t have one group with one common cause without division for very long. Besides, the empire has already been on a steady decline since the 60s. History repeats itself, but this tends to be an issue many do not understand. If we all know what causes the decline of an empire, and we want our children and their children to have a good stable nation to stay in, why do we keep doing this? Even Ibn Khaldun, several hundred years ago, had it figured out. The dissection of the nation as one large group can be found all over the place – take a look around. Once you see that, perhaps you will see our spiraling plunge into another rising nation’s hands.

Hello World!

These blog postings will stir public opinions. I will mainly be writing on politics and society. I invite everyone to comment. I enjoy debate!

Excel Based on Merit

Something at the top of my list of importance in how one thinks of himself, and how one is perceived by society.

Are you an individual or part of a group?

Just take a moment to think about this. How are you recognized for a promotion at work? How are you recognized in your town?

You are recognized by things YOU do. You excel in life based on merit, not by being classified into a group. Right?

So, why is it that so many people want special treatment by placing themselves in a group? Why is it that so many people want so bad for their “disadvantages” or “excuses” to be taken into consideration to get a job, a promotion, a grant, etc.?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be proud of who you are. Nor am I saying you should completely disregard your ethnicity, sex, religious beliefs, or any other personal characteristic or trait. What I am saying is, do you really think other people should care? Why is it that these things are twisted around to be disadvantages?

You know who makes minorities? Minorities do.

Everyone, no matter what color they are, or what sex they are, has disadvantages in life. What makes you so special? Nothing at all.

I am a Hispanic female who was a teen parent. And you know what? I went to college without accepting one grant for being Hispanic, or female, or for any “disadvantage” having been a teen parent. I made it through. I excel based on merit. You want extra money for college? Work hard, get good grades, and there you go- scholarships galore. You don’t want to work hard? You don’t deserve my or anyone else’s tax money to float you through school.

You think you deserve a job because you are a different race? Nope! Wrong! You deserve a job when you are qualified to do it. If an employer doesn’t want to hire you because of your sex or race, so be it. They worked hard to be a successful business owner. Work hard somewhere else. Why do you want to work for someone who is sexist or racist anyway?

You know what makes you stand out in society? Individuality. NOT group placement. If I said, “How about those Hispanics in Pueblo?”. Does that peak much interest? There is a pretty good size population of Hispanics in Pueblo. Now, what if I said “How about that professor at CSU?”. Hmm… that sound a little more intriguing to talk about. What does he teach? Where did he do his undergraduate studies? The questions would start flowing in. Why? Because I switched conversation from group placement to someone with merit. That’s what makes someone special.

So, you want to be special? You want to be successful? You want to stand out in society? You want to know how? Here’s how… a pretty simple answer… EXCEL BASED ON MERIT!